Horrendous Occurrences Abound

In a bleak world, difficult choices need to be made.

“What are we going to do, John?”

How many times had Kelly asked her husband this question in the last two weeks? Countless. And every time she asked, he was less and less certain of the answer.

“I don’t know,” John croaked out. It hurt him to say it. The admission felt like a betrayal, like he had let Kelly and the children down. He was a man, wasn’t he? Shouldn’t he be able to take care of them? Wasn’t that the one thing he should be able to do? But the only thing they had left now was doubt. His voice quivered, “We just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.” He could tell Kelly didn’t believe him, but she smiled nonetheless.

“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Noah begged his father.

“I know. We all are. We’ll find some food soon enough. But I need you to be strong for Mommy, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

It broke John’s heart to see his children show more resilience than he felt within himself. He had to fake it for their sakes if nothing else.

“I think we should try going to your parents’ place in Oklahoma. Farther into the interior of the country, may be free from…” John trailed off, not wanting to put words to the new reality they faced.

“Even if the highways are clear from here to there, how are we going to find gas?” Kelly asked. “All the stations are going to be dried up. And will anyone take a card now? All our money is electronic. All the good it does us when there’s no electricity.”

“We’ll have to pack up the car with whatever we can find that is valuable. Bartering along the way may be our best bet. Maybe we’ll get lucky and find someone with gas to spare.”

“Can we really take a chance on lucky?” Kelly was crying now. John could tell she hated that she was crying.

“We’re taking as much of a chance staying here,” John said. “I think we need to—”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

John and Kelly both jumped at the sound from their front door.

“Who is that? Who could that possibly be? Do you think it’s someone from the army?”

“Which one?” John said grimly and walked to the door.

“You’re not actually going to answer it, are you?”

“What if it’s someone in need?”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“I can hear you talking in there,” came a voice from outside, but it was elderly and female. Not a voice either Kelly or John expected.

They both cautiously approached the entrance to their home and cracked open the door. Standing outside was an elderly lady, perhaps in her late 60s, with a dour expression of disapproval on her face.

“I’m Gladys Tatler from two streets down. Is that your garbage can out in the road?” the old woman said.

Kelly and John were dumbstricken.

“The garbage can. Right over there.” Gladys motioned to the plastic container on the side of the road beside the driveway. “I assume it’s yours since it’s in front of your house.”

John found his voice. “Y-yes?”

“You do realize that it is not a garbage collection day today, don’t you?”

John and Kelly looked at each other and then back to the woman.

“You can’t be serious,” Kelly said.

“I’m very serious,” Gladys said with all the tone of a schoolmarm scolding children. “You are in violation of the Home Owner Association’s bylaws concerning the display of garbage cans on non-garbage collection days.”

“We’ve been a little preoccupied with other things than the garbage can,” John said.

“You agreed to abide by the rules of the HOA when you joined this community, didn’t you? What could possibly preoccupy you more than ensuring the cleanliness and safety of the neighborhood?”

“Well—”

“You can’t just decide which HOA rules you want to follow and which rules you don’t. Those rules are for the community’s good, you know.”

“We really don’t have time for this,” John said, closing the door.

Gladys’s foot had preemptively taken a position on the threshold. “And now that I’m here, I’ve noticed that your front door seems to be painted Oakmoss Green. That is not one of the pre-approved colors for front doors. Did you get the proper exception waiver from the Architectural Review Committee?”

“Why do you care?” Kelly blurted out.

The old woman was incensed. “These rules protect our property values and keep our community safe!”

“Property values? Safety?” John was screaming now. “That’s already gone. Look around you! Half the houses on this block have already been abandoned!”

“I am looking, and if you don’t put your garbage can behind your fence where it can’t be seen from the road, this neighborhood will fall apart.”

“Lady, the Chinese just declared war and have been bombing since last week! Rumors of a land invasion are everywhere. Pandemonium has broken loose. Grocery stores are empty. The electricity has been out for the last several days. Who knows if anyone’s actually in charge. We’ve got bigger problems than a garbage can in the street!”

“I should say you’ll have bigger problems,” Gladys said. “You can expect a stiff fine in the mail… whenever that lazy mailman gets around to delivering it.”